Feeling Drawn

Isn’t it a weird sensation when you feel drawn to something? A person A place. A smell. A food. A feeling. An idea. An activity. A color. A style. A book. A song.

Sometimes you feel it and you know it’s temporary. Sometimes you feel that pull and you know it’s not just some pass of the moment. You know it’s pulling you to something more. And you’ve felt this pull multiple times before. Maybe it has been for awhile.

I’m drawn to a lot of things and I’m sure you are too. 

I’m drawn to the smell of rain. I’m drawn to vanilla iced coffee. I’m drawn to the sound of acoustic indie music. I’m drawn to Virginia Woolf books that describe exactly how I’m feeling. I’m drawn to spoonfuls of peanut butter. But on a more serious note…

I feel so strongly drawn to having my camera in my hands. I love taking pictures. I love documenting life-my own life especially.

But you know what really catches my attention and curiousity? Pictures of other people. Even more so engagement pictures and wedding pictures.

No, no, no do not get the wrong idea. It’s weird, I know, for me to say something like that. But there is a very distinct difference between looking at those pictures because you’re yearning for that to happen or looking at them to admire the style of that photographer. The way he/she posed the people in front of her lens. The appeal of wondering what their story is. The attention to details. The decision to use black and white or color. The expression on their faces. The weight of the importance of the event they are capturing.

Now let me say next that I have an extremely long way to go before I can undertake something like that. I just threw out to you the more dreamy side of this potential future I’m envisioning. It’s been on my mind a lot lately and that’s what I felt I should write about today.

I’m hoping to start getting people in front of my camera for fun. Just to start getting some experience to see if I truly do want people in front of my lens. My photojournalist foundation revolts a bit inside me when I think of posing people instead of capturing a candid moment, but it can get over that.

If pulling my camera out and going outside for a few hours to take pictures for my blog is what I do for fun on the weekends then maybe there is more to it. If I find joy in editing pictures for a few hours with Netflix on in the background then maybe there is more to it. 

With books like “The Best Yes” and “Make it Happen,” chilling on my bedside table they’re consistent reminders that if I want to do something in my life I need to put forth the action to make it happen. So that’s what I’m going to start trying to do more of. 

This dreamy side of my brain is something I pray about a lot, and should do a lot more intentional praying of. Sometimes it’s easy to see someone doing something and think that I need to do that. Then I force myself to think that that’s what I’m supposed to be doing and try to make it happen myself. But soon I’ll find that wasn’t something meant for me. It was something I kind of forced onto myself, it wasn’t something that God had placed for me.

I don’t know exactly what I’m saying, but I know having His favor and push in things is a big determiner. I do want my God-given interests and talents to be used for a greater purpose, but it’s just finding what and in what ways to use them. Photography is one of my interests that I feel is meant for something greater than creating pictures for my blog, but we’ll see.

Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires. Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him and he will help you.

Psalm 37: 4

What have you been feeling drawn to?

How do you determine if something is just fleeting or maybe has a greater purpose?